DISCOVER
Wellness
&
Resliency
Mindset
Mindset
Think you're too old? Think again!
Mindset
Think you're too old? Think again!
Working with the elderly, I find there isn't a day that goes by without someone saying, "Getting old is terrible. There is so much you cannot do." I disagree. I've decided instead to let the folks below be my motivation. What do these people have in common? They did not let anything, including their age, limit what they wanted to do. They just decided they wanted to do something, then took one step after another.
AT AGE 91, Sister Madonna
had completed 45 Ironman competitions since the age of 50!
AT AGE 92, Chico Scimone raced up the Empire State Building finishing in just over 43 minutes!
AT AGE 104, old Ruth Frith broke the world record in shot put in her age group(65y and above)!
AT AGE 78, Anna Mary Robertson Moses, or Grandma Moses, began painting and was a prominent American Folk Artist!
AT AGE 98, George Dawson, learned to read and wrote a book called "Life Is So Good" at the age of 101!
AT AGE 70, Joan MacDobald decided to take charge of her health and began to eat healthily, exercise more and start strength training. Six years later, she not only turned her health around (losing weight, building incredible muscle and resolving many health issues) but now has over 1M Instagram followers, a new app and has started a new business!
So instead of thinking, "I can't because (fill in the blank)," think, "what if I could?" Then take the first step!
Who will motivate you to take the next step?
#motivation #mindset #possibilites #nevertooold
“If we want to do it, we can. The only failure is not to try because putting forth the effort is success in itself.”
Wondering how coaching can help you? Email info@salimashamji.com to schedule a discovery call.
Cultivate Happiness
Cultivate Happiness
How happy are you? Want to move the needle up a little? Learn a new framework for cultivating more happiness!
Happiness
I recently learned of an excellent framework for looking at happiness, called the SPIRE, from Tal Ben-Shahar, author and educator. This model shows that happiness comes from many areas in our life.
S- for spiritual, which can be purpose and meaning in life to religious connection.
P- is related to our physical well-being, eating, sleeping, moving and the mind-body connection.
I -refers to intellectual happiness, which comes from being curious and deep learning.
R- is for relationship happiness and cultivating deep, meaningful relationships with others. For example, this is cultivated by connecting with loved ones or contributing meaningfully to a community.
E- comes from emotional happiness, which involves being able to process negative emotions and cultivate positive ones, such as gratitude and kindness.
This novel framework shows that happiness is a systems approach. We may not be great in all areas of the SPIRE model, but pretty good at some. However, if we want to increase our happiness overall, growing our happiness in one area will positively affect all others. For example, suppose we become better able to manage our emotions. In that case, we will also be more creative, open to learning new things and participate more positively in relationships. Yet, if we neglect any of these areas, it will negatively impact all the other aspects. So, for example, if we neglect our physical well-being, we are less likely to feel emotionally happy and want to participate in activities involving deep learning and curiosity. (This is something I see firsthand as a physician! 🤔)
Where are you thriving? Which areas do you need to cultivate?
How does this affect business and the workplace?
Well, research has shown that happy people are more productive, creative and more likely to contribute, which ultimately impacts the bottom line! 🤔
“Happiness is the joy you feel moving toward your potential”
Wondering how coaching can help you? Email info@salimashamji.com to schedule a discovery call.
RELATIONSHIPS
HOW TO KEEP THEM HEALTHY
Many situations challenge relationships and COVID has to be way up there among them. Need some strategies to keep your relationships healthy? Read on!
How to Keep Them Healthy
From work colleagues to families and neighbours to friends, we all need to learn to manage relationships well. Many situations challenge relationships, and COVID has to be way up there among them. Notice any signs of strain in your relationships in the past year? From his extensive work on relationships, psychologist and researcher John Gottman (The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work) points out that four key signs show your relationship is in trouble. He calls these the "4 Horseman of the Apocalypse." They are: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. If you notice any of these signs, this video will give you a little more on strategies to counter them. Although Gottman's work is primarily on couples; I think the lessons are universal to all relationships. How we treat one person is likely how we treat everyone because so many of our actions are habitual.
THE EMOTIONAL BANK ACCOUNT
What habits do we need to build to prevent our relationships from inviting in those "4 Horseman" in the first place? One of Gottman's fundamental principles is to have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions, especially during an argument. 😉 The idea is to build a "savings account" of your positive actions in your "relationship bank" so that when you make a "withdrawal" by behaving negatively, there is a buffer. This idea is similar to Stephen Covey's work (The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families) with the emotional bank account. Covey defines that actions that build trust add to the account and actions that deplete trust withdraw from the account. The balance of the account then determines how people interact with each other. So, if your interactions are on the bumpy side, you may want to work on adding more "deposits" to the emotional bank account of that relationship.
POSITIVE REALTIONSHIP DEPOSTIS
Developing these habits, however, requires some intention. We need to decide that we will make some positive deposits each day by thinking of the interaction coming up and how we will make that interaction more positive. How do we add those deposits? As you may have already guessed, some emotional bank account deposits include:
Showing simple kindness such as making a cup of tea without being asked
Showing gratitude for something the other has done,
Stopping and listening with full presence to what the other is saying (put the phone down!),
Asking about their day with genuine interest,
Spending time doing fun activities together (movie, concert, playing games),
Learning about their likes and dislikes and keeping these in mind.
ACTIVE CONSTURCTIVE RESPONSING
Of course, there are many more! Another way to make a positive deposit is called active constructive responding (ACR). ACR is about turning towards or paying full attention to the person when they come to share something good with you, such as a joke or how their day went. By responding positively, you magnify the positive experience, build trust and intimacy, and contribute to your well-being. If you ignore or dismiss the exchange, you do the opposite, creating a withdrawal from their emotional bank account.
Relationships, just like your personal bank account, need regular tending for positive results.
Challenge:
How are you going to contribute to the emotional bank accounts in your relationships? Take some time this week and reflect at the end of each day what you did to "deposit' or "withdraw" from those emotional bank accounts. Then, decide what steps you will take the next day to put in a few more "deposits." 😉
Disclaimer: The content in this blog is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog or on this website.