How to Handle a Rough Day

The other day I had a really rough day. But I also had a medical student that I was teaching and I wanted to make sure that they were learning from each situation regardless of my own emotions. I made an effort to take advantage of each teachable moment so that my student had the most beneficial experience. In medicine, and I’m sure in many other work situations, you think you have to appear you have everything under control and nothing can phase you. At the end of the day I realized that I had forgotten to teach the most important lesson: how to deal with the rough day!

We all have them. Sometimes it feels like every interaction is challenging. It might feel like everything that can go wrong does go wrong. It can seem quite overwhelming.  So how do you deal with such a day?  Here are my tips and how I dealt with my day. 

1. Acknowledge that it’s been a rough day and know that you are not alone. We ALL experience these kinds of days. It’s part of being human. Then, take a moment to bring your hand to your heart (if it doesn’t feel weird - Ok even if it does, just do it- there’s much to be said about the mind-body connection) and say to yourself: “May I be strong. May I be kind to myself.“ Remind yourself that you did the best you could. There is great science behind the benefits of self-compassion and on a tough day, we need to be our own friend (inspired by Kristin Neff).

2. Breathe deeply for one minute. Repeat often. Whenever I could, I snuck in a minute of just breathing deeply and calmly and reminding myself that, right now, I am OK.

3. Get some fresh air and go for a walk as soon as you can. There is something amazing about being out in nature and the calming effects it brings. I took quick walk in the quiet, snowy evening.

4. Find someone to talk to. It doesn’t have to be anyone who will “solve the problem” just someone who will listen. I talked to my husband and my daughter. 🥰

5. Sit with the pain/ anger/frustration/sadness - not the story just the EMOTION, for 90 seconds and notice how that takes the sting away. Repeat often. This is magic. ✨

6. Look for things in your life for which you are grateful. There is always something you can appreciate. I appreciated leftovers for dinner so I didn’t have to cook & a warm cup of tea my daughter made for me. 💕

7. Watch a funny video or show. Laughter is a great way to lift mood. I know you’re thinking of a good video right now!😁

8. Take care of yourself. What can you do to nurture yourself? For me that meant a warm shower, then curling up with a good book and letting family handle the cleanup after dinner.

9. Journal - I wrote this! But write whatever comes to you. It’s amazing how this lightens the load and may shed a different perspective. Assume life is happening FOR you and not to you. What’s the lesson in this day?

10. Know that tomorrow is a fresh start. Life is about progress, not perfection. You cannot change the past but you can choose your next step. That is where the power lies! 🤜🏼

Know someone who’s had a rough day? Pass this on! 

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Disclaimer: The content in this blog is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read in this blog or on this website.

STOP Stress in its Tracks!

The One-Minute Strategy to Help You Conquer Stress

Have you ever had  a day where it feels like life is just coming at you faster than you can manage? A day where you are frazzled and juggling too many things at one time? 

Take for example this scenario: It's the end of a long day, you’re running late for making dinner, the kids are fighting in the other room and the pot just boiled over. You are overwhelmed! So what can you do? This, my friend, is the best time to S.T.O.P!  Here is how to use this magical acronym:

S: Stop what you’re doing. You really cannot find new, effective solutions in the same mindset of stress and overwhelm. It would be like taking a subway going south, then realizing you need to go in the opposite direction and trying to jump off a moving train! First, you have to stop and get off the subway before you get too far off track.  Then, you can take a moment to figure out where you really want to go. 

In the scenario above, you would turn the stove down, stop cooking and let the kids be for now.  Find a quiet room if you need to.Then, while taking a moment to yourself:

T: Take a breath.  Breathing is key to switching your nervous system over to a more relaxed state giving you, among the many benefits, access to your higher brain centre, which is not available during stress. This allows you to be more creative and problem-solve better. 

So go ahead and place your hands on your lower abdomen. Inhale deeply and slowly through your nose, allowing your abdomen to rise. Then, exhale slowly and completely, through your mouth letting your abdomen fall gently towards your spine. Do this for 4-5 breaths. As you continue breathe deeply and slowly:

O: Observe what is happening in your body, mind, and environment.  Keep breathing and just notice what’s going on. How does your body feel? What emotions you are feeling? What thoughts are running through your head? And what is going on in your environment? Observe these things without judgement and without getting caught up in the story.  JUST OBSERVE. And remember to keep that long, deep breathing going!  By now you will be feeling calmer and have a better understanding of the situation. You are thinking more clearly and may even have a creative idea pop into your head.

In the scenario above, you might sense tension in parts of your body and your heart racing. Emotionally, you might feel overwhelmed, angry and frustrated. You may be thinking: “Why can’t the kids just behave!”  “If only I didn’t have to deal with that issue at work that made me late.”  “Why can’t dinner be easier?” You notice that the kids are yelling, the pot has boiled over and dinner is 30 minutes late. You may even realize that the kids are acting out because they’re hungry! Aha! And that leads to the next step:

P: Proceed.  This is where you DECIDE how you want the rest of the day to go and CHOOSE how you want to proceed.  You are in complete control of what happens next! This is where that higher brain centre kicks in allowing you to think more clearly and, with your ultimate goal in mind, also come up with many options. The possibilities are unlimited. Truly!  

For example, in the scenario above, you decide you would like to have a more relaxed and fun evening with their family.  So, now, you have a few choices about how to proceed: you could keep doing what they’re doing, you could keep cooking dinner but invite the kids over for a snack while listening to some music, or you could scratch dinner and order pizza. Because, after all, the idea is to have a fun, relaxed evening! The possibilities are endless.

So experiment this week.  Write STOP on stickies and place them in your office or on your fridge, as a reminder.

Once you have the idea, the technique takes about a minute to complete.The more you practice this technique, the more you start making choices from a place of calm instead of chaos. And that‘s where the magic begins.

Go ahead and share this post with a friend!